This page shows all my Poetry:

Bad poetry. A poem shamelessly stolen from me by my good friend Tamla Walker and used in the Itchy Guides Bath city guide 2003 (August 2003):
Hot Chocolate

Not coffee,
And you can sing,
You sexy thing.

Tags:  Itchy Guides  Poetry  Food and drink  Writing  Consumer  Books/Audiobooks  Comedy  

Bad poetry. I won five pounds for this when it was used in the humorous verse section of famous vanity publisher Poetry Now magazine (March 1999):
On The Buses

When I get on a bus
 as a precautionary measure,
I like to talk about my meringue collection to elderly ladies
 And demonstrate origami to uninterested poodles.
I tend to groan loudly
 about the chocolate weasels
  which infest my brain.
Then quietly talk to people about
 the time the FBI
 interviewed my big toe
  -you know- after Kennedy was shot.
This then ensures
 that during my journey
I don’t get the nutter sitting next to me.

Tags:  Poetry Now  Poetry  Travel  Writing  Consumer  Magazines